(This article was published on JMag.com, Jdate’s online magazine). 

Let’s face it, relationships can be challenging at times! It’s hard enough to really know what we want, let alone know what our partner wants. In the words of Ryan Gosling’s character from The Notebook, “It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…”

Unfortunately, Ryan Gosling is not calling us anytime soon, however, the good news is I can still help in other ways. Astrology is an ancient tool used to help you understand yourself and others on a deeper, psychological level. While astrological compatibility is a very complex system, understanding the inherent needs for each Sun Sign Element is a great place to start!

I know your first question is, what exactly are elements and how can this help me with dating?

OK, let’s begin! The 12 Zodiac signs are broken down into 4 elements which are also found in nature:

  • Fire
  • Earth
  • Air
  • Water

As I continue to educate people on the truth behind astrology, I cannot leave out that we are so much more than just our sun sign. We have all the planets in our birth charts and this unique pattern, just like your DNA, reveals insight into your personal journey in life. With that being said, your sun sign is how you shine your light in this lifetime.

Every sun sign will fall under one of the elements (Fire, Earth, Air, or Water) and it’s important to understand that each element carries with it certain energies – i.e. characteristics. At the end of the day, I like to say these are your basic core needs. Understanding what your partner’s basic needs are will help you understand why they are the way they are. Yes, there is SO much more to astrology than this, however, this is a great starting point and an easy way to help you balance the ebbs and flows of your relationship.


Fire Sun Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)

When you think of fire, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Hot, right? Exactly! Fire signs have a bit of a spice to them. They are passionate and can be dramatic, but one thing is for sure – they are made to be leaders. Their core needs revolve around creativity, action, initiation, and enthusiasm!

What they truly need is to have experiences – they have an unquenchable thirst to try things! It’s important to understand that you cannot tell a fire sign, for example, the water is cold and not to touch it. Why? Because they will actually need to put their hand in the water to experience it for themselves. Yes, they are sometimes impulsive, however, knowing that they need activities in life that stir their inspiration and get their heart pumping is the key to getting along with them. Oh, and when in doubt, just say these magic words: you’re right!


Earth Sun Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)

Time to slow it down here with the earth signs. Now, it’s not because they are slow… well, yes it is! But that’s OK because the saying, “slow and steady wins the race” was made for earth signs. At the end of the day their core needs revolve around safety, financial security, and practicality. Zzzzzzzz… I know, I know, it sounds a little dull, but earth signs are the types of partners that will say what they mean and mean what they say.

Once they commit, they will be there for you as they are reliable, grounded, and extremely down to earth. Understand that they might be slow to move, but when they do make a move, it’s a big one… and could possibly be the one you’ve been waiting for! Allow them time and learn that you cannot rush an earth sign into doing something. Just think of how easy it is to move a mountain and then you will understand the force you’re dealing with.


Air Sun Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)

Air signs exist on the mental plane. No, I don’t mean they are mental in a negative way (although there is a fine line between genius and insanity… hmmm, back to this later?) I mean that their core need is about communication in some form. Their minds are active and they have a thirst to learn and acquire more information. Depending on what else is going on in their charts, they have a need to talk things out.

Now that doesn’t always mean a long drawn-out conversation, (especially for Gemini’s) however, they process information through their head first and then it moves down to their heart. Think first and feel second is how they were built. Anyone in a relationship with an air sign needs to understand that a core need for them is mental stimulation. If you can, continue to excite their mind… then you could quite possibly have a keeper for life! Just make sure you think this one over because, trust me, they are doing the same.


Water Sun Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

The key word for water signs is emotions. Male or female, it doesn’t matter! If you’re with a water sign, it’s important to know they have strong emotions whether they show them or not. (Oops, sorry… I just outed Scorpios who like to keep it under wraps!) Getting back to emotions… water signs are sensitive and feeeeeel things more intensely than other signs.

It’s important to observe their bodies when communicating as that will tell you a lot as well. To get along with a water sign you have to understand the proverb, still waters run deep. It’s true! Water signs have a core need to merge with others on an emotional level and to feel safe revealing themselves as well. This need might not need to be expressed or shared with everyone, but it is a necessity with the one they’re dating! Oh and make sure you always have tissues on hand, especially when watching a movie. You’re welcome for the brownie points!


Final Astro tip! It’s important to look at all the elements in your chart and see if a majority of planets are in fire, or earth, or air, or water, or a combo or 2 or 3! This is going to tell you a lot about yourself before even diving into the chart!

****Enjoy and if you need help understanding the basics of what an astrology chart is I created this Astro Hack tutorial for you to introduce you to the cosmic wheel!